Thursday, September 14, 2006

Prestige Distinction Silverplate

(PAS): psychopathology and abuse of custody

We thank the magazine "LINK" and the author for permission to republish the article
LINK - Scientific journal of psychology, No 8 January 2006, pp. 6-18
parental alienation syndrome (PAS):
psychopathology and abuse of custody in
separations.
speeches border between psychology and justice.

The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS):
Psychopathology and abuse in custody of separation.
interventions Borderline Between justice and psychology.
MARIO ANDREA Salluzzo
Psychologist, psychotherapist for the Department of Mental Health ASL RM D

Summary: The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), described by Richard Gardner from the eighties, is a disorder psychopathology - and at the same time a emotional abuse - which affects children, usually between the ages of 7 and 14/15 years old at the time of separation. The PAS is due to two factors. The first is the programming of a parent or indoctrination - defined as "alienating" - to the detriment of the other. The second factor, which is the main event PAS, is the ' alignment with the alienating parent children. These are personally involved in a campaign of denigration - which has no justification, and is not supported by realistic elements - with respect to the other parent (the alienated parent), which is hated up to be excluded from their lives. Gardner describes three types of PAS: mild, moderate and severe symptoms eight main and four additional diagnostic criteria. For a therapeutic intervention is necessary for legal practitioners and psychosocial professionals working in synergy. Only a clear and swift legal action, aimed to discourage any attempts of sabotage by the alienating parent may garantire un buon margine di successo ad interventi psicoterapeutici o di mediazione familiare.

Abstract: The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), described by Richard Gardner since the eighties, is a psychopathological disorder - and at the same time an emotional abuse - that strikes the children, usually in the period between 7 and 14/15 years, during the separation. The PAS is due to two concomitant factors. The first one is the programming or indoctrination by one parent - defined as "alienating" - against the other. The second factor, that represents the principal PAS manifestation, is the alignment of the children with the alienating parent. The children are personally involved in a campaign of denigration - that has no justification, and is not sustained by realistic elements - towards the other parent (the alienated parent) who is hated so much to be excluded from their life. Gardner describes three types of PAS: mild, moderate and severe; eight primary symptoms and four additional diagnostic criteria. For a therapeutic intervention it is necessary that the justice operators and the psycho-professionals work in synergy. Only a clear and swift judicial action, aimed to discourage any attempt of sabotage by the alienating parent, can guarantee a good margin of success for psychotherapeutic or family mediation interventions.

Parole chiave: separazione-divorzio conflittuale, affidamento, abuso emotivo, mediazione familiare, bigenitorialità.

Key words: conflictual separation-divorce, Custody, emotional abuse, family mediation, biparentality.

accomplishing more than ten years as a psychologist in the public mental health services, I have witnessed the gradual but consistent increase in requests for psychiatric treatment by those who are involved in stressful events such as switching or radical change in family relationships. Termination of cohabitation, separation and divorce are more frequent events in our society, and families are subjected to traumatic
deconstructionist.

The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS - Parental Alienation Syndrome) is a developmental disorder that in reality the U.S. was detected since the eighties. When the separation gives rise to bitter conflicts, each of the former spouses - convinced they're right - is likely to involve children in a "race loyalty" (Byrne, 1989) disorienting and unnatural forcing them to forced choice. Parents treat their children as confidants and implement behaviors that are intended to separate from the other parent and cement itself. Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) termed this phenomenon, which they found in those aged between 9 and 12 years, even in the presence of good parent-child relationship before the separation, as the "alignment of the child with a parent."

Jacobs (1988) defined it as "Medea Complex " maternal behavior aimed at the destruction of the relationship between father and children after separation conflict. In this case, instead of the mothers kill their children for revenge against their husbands, as in Euripides' tragedy - in which Medea kills little children to deprive the husband who has repudiated the joys of being a father - rather than try to " kill "the father-son bond.

the same vein arise contributions Turkat (1995, 1999) on " Malicious Mother Syndrome / Parent Spiteful " according to which, after cessation of conjugal relationship, the parent, while remaining free ascertainable by other psychopathology, and keeping with the children - at least in appearance - an effective relationship of care, however, exercise in respect of a former spouse a failure, mainly aimed at preventing a normal and loving relationship with their children.

Impairment of conduct may include both actual criminal acts, or it can turn into a excess of legal action to prevent the other parent with whom the relationship with their children.

But the intent of this paper is to summarize the vast literature and debate on the pathological conflict of custody of children after separation. For this, see the reader to the bibliography. The aim of this paper is to focus on a mental illness, abuse-related, outline the theory, the diagnostic criteria, and psychotherapeutic methods.

begin with some clinical examples.

Case No. 1
Maria was about 25 when he turned to our service. His parents separated after five years of marriage, when the patient had a year and a half. Maria has an older sister bigger than two years. Until the age of 18 years, Mary refused all but the frequent visits with their father. Now, 5 years old, lives with him, but can not organize their lives. Inconsistent, both in the choice of university studies, that in the love life.
After an initial evaluation phase we decided to start psychotherapy, but after a few months, Mary falls in love and disappears.
Back after more than a year. Two obstacles have taken by surprise in his life. The first is its difficulty to complete the training college, because of too many unresolved psychological issues. The second is the end - after about a year - of living with Antonio, her boyfriend.
resume talks, although his tendency to act makes me fear the risk of further disruption of psychotherapy.
After about three months, Mary is able to express his discomfort in sitting, spontaneously creating important links between past and present.
"My mother looks a lot like Antonio because he always manages to go to the victim and to make others feel guilty. There are others who are guilty of his misfortune. "
He continues talking about the contrasts between her older sister and mother. Eventually the sister had left home:
"My mother was convinced that my sister had gone away from home because my father had been brainwashed." Maria
proceed freely, returning a failure to mention the living with her fiance, linking it to the relationship with the mother
"When I left A. I thought I had an experience with someone who brings you to the bottom as a mom, and, despite having lived how did I be so stupid as to falling back again? I was so convinced that all the things he said to me were correct and that I should learn them. I sensed that things were not going well, but I could not make a decision [...]
Even with my mother felt I did not understand things and I trusted her. When my mother said my father manipulated my sister, I had the maturity to understand that their arguments were to make her say that. The reality was that I lived across the nebula: I came to think the same things that he thought my mother. "
Mary has never used his father as a parental reference. He has never had the chance. She explains that in recent months is taking place a kind unexpected recovery:
"Yeah I loved him to my father, but the failure of the relationship with A. allowed me to get closer to my father intimately. He thought I was mature. When I confessed my needs, has proven to be a good parent ... c'avevo gave to my father. Even in the last six years now I thought our relationship was destined to remain superficial.
Having discovered that there was someone to protect me as a father has given me the strength to leave A. "Mary continues, always hovering between past and present:
" Now I hear only my mother, but when I hear it I get the Magone empty ... I see ... I see it as A. ... Always has its problems ... as if he had ever before the ghosts of the past. And 'as if I had one with her because she has kept hidden for so many years my father ... but then it makes me sad ... is weak, it makes the victim. Can not stand it sometimes, like before my sister and dad could not stand ...".

Case No. 2
Giorgia was about 30 years when he turned to our service due to a depression crisis, which arose on the eve of the wedding. When he was 13 his parents separated, she and her brother and male, smaller than a year and a half, were entrusted to the mother. The mother was and is firmly linked to his family home: she and her sister, together, are unbeatable. Even before the separation, the father of George was the object of ridicule, joking at first, but way, way heavier. Eventually the "softy" is another woman. Giorgia and her brother, who had always
tender and affectionate relationship with his father, found themselves having to face a formidable campaign of vilification against him thrown. The boy responds positively and is able to maintain good relations with his father. Giorgia, however, sided with his mother faithfully and the rest of the family in charging the father to be guilty of the destruction of the family. Eventually the "softy" resent this attitude and to relinquish the attendance with her daughter. The son, however, continue to meet, albeit occasionally.
Apparently there seems to be no problem for Giorgia, apart from the depressing tone that seems to characterize the behavior of both his and mother. But on the eve of the wedding Giorgia falls into crisis and presages the end of his life. Threat suicidal intentions. The marriage seems doomed to failure. The psychiatrist prescribes a medication to contain the acute phase of the disorder of the patient, although more confident as a therapeutic factor in the resumption of relations between father and daughter. Although the mother of George and his sister do not understand what benefits can bring to life the daughter of rapprochement to the "softy" However, the relationship resumed. Eventually, the father even attending the wedding of his daughter.

Case No. 3
Oliverio Ferraris (2005) shows the interview of a girl, now an adult, the daughter of separated, "Even to win my mother had invented a series of lies about my father, the wrong that was done and how we was when we went to him. I will always remember the expression of triumph with which he thundered, in court when the judge gave the reason. His aim was not to my well-being, as he said, but the desire to humiliate my father "(p. 94).

Case No. 4
Sandra is a 15 year old girl who lives in the context of a bitter family conflict after separation. The unresolved conflict makes it impossible for the father to participate in the life of the daughter, who is entrusted to the mother. This, backed by his relatives, accused her ex-husband had made ill-treatment is that Sandra about her, ill-treatment that, in fact, never happened. There are a number of years that he was prevented from seeing his daughter. She, sided with his mother and relatives, made accusatory statements against the father.
Nevertheless, the father insists on trying to draw closer to Sandra, even knowing that the risk of exposing itself to more false accusations. The girl's father when the threat is to look for:
"If you do not stop to come looking for me, I'll go to the next hearing the judge wanted to say that you are entering the house by force and you've got to swear mom, and you know that the judge will believe me and not you. "
She wrote the judge a letter full of false statements. In spite of the prodigal father in her defense, producing a list of witnesses and their statements, however, will undergo a decree limiting parental authority and will be criminally convicted.

Case No. 5
Emanuele has about 40 years old when her marriage crisis explodes. In front of his position, his wife says in a surly, "Oh, so then I go out now, I go by social services and destroy you. " The woman, after a few days, it disappears along with the two children of 8 and 12 years.
Emanuele was accused of mistreating children. Since then can only see them through visitation. The children, however, show more aversion against it, citing reasons absurd pretext that before the crisis in their marriage had never expressed. The relationships with their children do not reproduce regularly. But after about two years after separation ex-wife dies in a car accident. Suddenly the children change their attitude towards Emma: I'm back to being fond of children once.

Definition of PAS
In 1985, Richard Gardner, a child psychiatrist and Bar, a member of the Department of Child Psychiatry at Columbia University in New York, coined the term "Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) - translated into Italian by some authors (Buzzi, 1997; Gulotta, 1998) the term" Parental Alienation Syndrome "- to describe the subject of psychopathological disorder in childhood, often between the ages of 7 and 14/15 years (1985, 1998b), which constitutes the distinctive response of the system subjected to the trauma of family separation. The PAS is due to two factors. The first is the "programming" or "indoctrination" of a parent - that is distressed by pathological hatred - against the other, behavior described as "alienating". The second factor, which is the main manifestation of PAS is the most popular alignment with the parent (the programming parent, who is a brainwashing, or induces PAS) by the children, who show themselves personally involved in a campaign of denigration - that has no justification, nor is supported by realistic elements - against the other parent who is "hated" (the alienated parent, disparaged the victim or the target). The aim is to exclude him from their lives. Mothers are much more frequently alienating parents than are fathers. Of course it is essential to the role played also by all those familiar and unfamiliar, you side with the alienating parent.

Three types of PAS have been described by Gardner: mild, moderate and severe (see Table 1). In type
slight aversion is relatively shallow and the children to cooperate with the parent visits
denigrated, but they are sometimes overly critical and moody. In the moderate type, alienation
is more profound: the children are more aggressive and disrespectful, and the campaign of denigration may be almost continuous. In severe type, visits the alienated parent may be hampered by intense feelings and manifestations of persecution / hostility by children, which may lead them to commit acts intended to cause physical harm or grief to the hated parent. The severity of the PAS does not depend on the intensity of the indoctrination given by the alienating parent, but by the success achieved by the children. Therefore, it is the personal contribution of children in a campaign of denigration that derives the severity of the syndrome, and not on the level of commitment from the parent's favorite indoctrination. The eight primary symptoms of PAS, found in children, aim to strengthen and vitalize the more you can link the disease with the alienating parent.

Main symptoms of PAS and their implications
  • campaign of denigration, the children show resentment against the alienated parent in an ongoing and persistent.
  • Rationalization weak, superficial, and absurd to justify the censure, the children refer to irrational and often ludicrous justifications to explain their rejection of the hated parent.
  • Lack of ambivalence: the children show a minimal or no ambivalence in their hostility to the parent-target, which is always considered completely negative.
  • The phenomenon of the independent thinker, the children proudly state that their feelings of aversion toward the parent hated, and ideation on, come by themselves and not by the alienating parent.
  • support automatic the alienating parent, the children accept as valid only the allegations of the beloved parent, to the detriment of those of the hated parent, even before having heard or understood.
  • Absence of guilt: the children show no empathy for the suffering of the alienated parent, which allow you to target mercilessly with a cruelty almost psychopathic.
  • Scenarios borrowed : children use words or phrases usually unrelated to the footage of the boys of their age and which may or may not know the exact meaning.
  • Extension hostility to the family and friends of the enlarged parent.

Table 1 Differential diagnosis of the three types of parental alienation syndrome

Events
symptomatic main

Mild

Moderate

Grave

campaign of denigration

Minimum

Moderate

Formidable

rationalizations or weak surface absurd to blame

Low

Moderate


absurd rationalizations multiple

Lack of ambivalence

Normal ambivalence

No
ambivalence

Absence
of ambivalence

Phenomenon independent thinker

Usually absent

Present

Present


Automatic support the alienating parent in parental conflict

Minimum

Present

Present

No guilt

Normal guilt

Guilt
from minimum to absent


No sense of guilt

Scenarios borrowed

Least

Present

Present


Extension of animosity to extended family of the alienating parent

Minimum

Present

Formidable, often extreme

difficulties of transition at the time of the visits

Usually absent

Moderate

Tough or visits are not possible



behavior during visits

Good


antagonistic and provocative
intermittently

Views absent or

destructive behavior and continuously

provocative

bond with the alienated

solid, healthy

Forte by
slightly to moderately pathological

bond

severely pathological, often paranoid

bond with the alienated parent

Strong, healthy or pathological
minimally

Strong, healthy or pathological
minimally

Strong, healthy or pathological
minimally

Adapted from Gardner (1999b)

addition to the eight primary symptoms of PAS, Gardner has since added (See Table 1). Four diagnostic criteria (1998a and b, 1999b):
  • difficulties of transition: when the child must separate itself from the alienating parent to spend time visiting with the other parent.
  • behavior during visits to the denigrated parent.
  • The link with the alienating parent.
  • The link with the alienated parent before the initiation of the process of alienation.
The alienating parent (Gardner, 2002b) rather than to challenge their children the absurdity of their claims, he "respects" the feelings and tolerate the repeated displays of rudeness and slander. It is an attitude adultomorfico children, that makes them feel as if they were quickly elevated to heroic status of adults, and with whom they can impress peers.

doing the necessary distinctions, this phenomenon has similarities with that of bullying (Olweus, 1996). The bully takes actions that aim to dominate, damage, misuse, abuse, threaten innocent victims who are unable to defend themselves. Such behavior originates in instigating both by adults who influence kids in that effect, both in imitation of a
behavior of others, both peers and adults, perceived as the winner.

This is due to the fact that automatically placing the alienating parent, perceived as the stronger of the two , children feel they gain power, because you put not be safe from the punishment and not to the same end of the victimized parent, which reproduces the classical scheme of the mechanism defense, described by Anna Freud in 1936, identification with the aggressor. If showing affection to the target parent, themselves run the risk of retaliation, at least the loss of affection of the alienating parent (Montague, 1994).

As we shall see below, there are also different points of convergence between the dynamics of PAS and that of bullying (Giordano, 2004). Although the majority of parents targeted by PAS does not do much to deserve the suffering that is inflicted by their children, however, a minority of them, with passivity, contributes to the consolidation of PAS. Being helpless, vilified, ridiculed and ignored with impunity, become alienated parents of victims ideals. End up being afraid to take any action , thus becoming, in the eyes of children, parents de-legitimized (Rowles).

Normally, the target parent has had a loving relationship with their children, or a small gap in her parenting skills. The hallmark of PAS is the exaggeration of defects marginal and minimal defects. disparagement, if it has not been enough to break the emotional bond between the target parent and children, you can also add the false statements or complaints (including sexual abuse).

Experience shows that, where there is less influence of the children by the alienating parent, if the relationship with the alienated parent, previously, was solid, and it is not so long ago, the symptoms of PAS vanish. The weather is also a factor for the consolidation of the syndrome.

Abuse, diagnostic categories and the effects of PAS
According to Gardner, the PAS is a form of emotional abuse (Emotional abuse) (1998b, 1999a) that arises at the beginning of a cascade of events that has only the origin of psychic trauma in the continued exposure of children to parents indoctrinating, which gives him a experience of imminent threat to the approach of the other parent and his pathological hatred. Later, as the case for other forms of abuse, develop in their children - just to defend themselves from the trauma - several defense mechanisms.

As shown by Burgess (1987), repeated exposure to abuse experiences in childhood and adolescence - first acts occurred, and then be done - can lead to the activation of some defense mechanisms typical of borderline pathology: the omnipotence, devaluation, and dissociation. For the experience of abuse can happen, you need the mechanism of denial, that the denial of his vulnerability. Only then would activate the mechanism of identification with the aggressor, through which children can receive an initial feeling of omnipotence, power over which is then devalued and objectified . To prevent feelings of identification with the person assaulted or submissive, grief and feelings of guilt are to emerge, to those involved in abuse requires a high degree of dissociation .

Let it be understood that also alienated parent suffers emotional abuse : the hatred of his former partner as a revenge materializes accomplished at the hands of children, to the point that Gardner (2002b) describes his terrible suffering by comparing it to a "state of living death "(state of living death).

The effects - both short and long term - for the children, were found (Gulotta, 1998): aggression, tendency to acting-out, egocentric, manipulative future character and / or materialistic, self-destructive behavior, obsessive-compulsive and dependent, narcissistic, false self, psychosomatic disorders, food, relationships, education and identity sexual excess of rationalization, emotional or intellectual confusion, low self-esteem, depression, phobias and regression.

Gardner also lists a range of psychopathological disorders that can affect the children, ranging from lack of respect for authority, narcissism, the weakening of the capacity for empathy, down to an impairment of reality testing, and paranoia. For both alienating parents that their children can be diagnosed (DSM IV, 1994, Gardner, 2002a) Shared Psychotic Disorder (folie à deux) or Parent-Child Relational Problem.

While, for the alienating parent, I found the Delusional Disorder , Especially the kind of persecution, or Paranoid Personality Disorders, Borderline and narcissistic . For children, however, are found conduct disorder, od'Ansia of Separation, or dissociative NAS, or all types of adjustment disorders.

Because each type of PAS (mild, moderate or severe) and different therapeutic approaches are necessary legal, it is important that you conduct an appropriate preliminary diagnostic evaluation.

Distinction of PAS abuse actually committed by the parent refused
E 'of vital importance to diagnose the cases from other superficially similar PAS (Gardner, 1999a), because if you were in the presence of abuse or neglect actually committed by the accused and rejected parent, the diagnosis of PAS is not applicable. Then, parents wrongly accused of inducing a PAS may well defend themselves by arguing that the disapproval of their children is justified by actual ill-treatment committed by the parent repudiated.

Gardner provides a long list of criteria - relating to children's symptoms and behavioral patterns, family history and pathology of the parents - on which to make this distinction.

The symptoms of the children in case of real abuse suffered by the rejected parent, usually falling in the area of \u200b\u200bPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder (DSM IV, 1994), and hardly show any of the eight symptoms of PAS.

behavioral patterns of their parents. Typically, the alienating parents are uncooperative to undergo the evaluations, unreliable in their accounts, need to make continuous booster injections to remind children about the mistreatment, thoughtful in protecting children from the dangers of the targeted parent, even when the a protected environment, and denounce the alleged abuse after separation.

Parents of children actually abused by his father refused, however, tend to, they let the children spontaneously remember the abuse, recognize the risk of weakening the relationship between the abusive parent and the children, who do everything to restore in protected conditions, and finally, the reporting of abuse dating back to a period well before the separation.

the PAS target parents, usually, they are reliable in their accounts, we are always concerned about the family welfare, and complaints of abuse involving only children, not other family members.

The parents refused and really abusers, in contrast, are usually unreliable in their reports, they are worried little about the family welfare, and the reporting of abuse also extends to other family members.

family history. To really abusive parents often found earlier of abuse in the family of origin and in previous generations, unlike the situation for parents targeted by PAS.

Pathology of the parents. The parents refused and actually suffer from abusive tendency impulsivity (acting out), the explosion of violent rage, and paranoia are more likely than the general population.

alienating parents share with the previous tendency to paranoia, while the alienated parents, usually have normal self-control, and possible explosion of anger are the result of the refusal, frustration and sense of helplessness generated by the hostility of the children. Just about

the latter, one can easily detect dynamics common to the case with bullying at work (Jordan, 2004). In fact, the parent is subjected disparaged unfairly, and often surreptitiously, aversion to the stress of the children, only to be mobbed by the alienating parent, when they lose control and react with exasperation. The alienating parent will redefine the reactions of the alienated parent as a psychopathological disorder and use, both in court that before the children, as the argument to demonstrate parental unfitness.

Factors extrafamiliari-building syndrome
Once all autonomous capability containment of the discomfort of couples, parents are turning out. Relatives and friends can easily become instigators of the conflict, or appropriate advisors, promoters and even thinking skills. But it is extremely difficult in cases of family conflict remain neutral and avoid the worst, even for professionals and those who carry out institutional roles. They, if they are not adequately prepared, they run the risk of getting influence, siding in favor of either side (Gardner, 2002b).

The lawyers typically work in an environment based on conflict, and therefore unfit to solve the problems of families in crisis (Waldron, Joanis, 1996). Usually, lawyers lack of psychological knowledge, can not always be aware of the distortion of the statements of their clients, and may well unconsciously colludes with attitudes that would appear in a professional psycho-pathology (Salluzzo, 2004a).

Of course, the mandate of the lawyer is not to diagnose a psychological truth, but to outline a case that truth to prevail in the legal dispute, the interests of his client.

As a result, the versions are often part of a distortion rate so high, that some authors speak of "factoids" (De Cataldo, 1997) to designate who is reportedly under interrogation or expert opinion in court.

However, so far as it feared the risk of mistreatment or abuse, often the social service providers, influenced by the risk of leaving the vulnerable unprotected, become alarmed and activate the channel protection of the child, and magistrates, even when called upon to act by their parents, not only are forced to take restrictive measures against the offending parent, but concerned about the risk of leaving people free to act of the danger, they may even collude with the victims / accusers of scaremongering, and also condemn the innocent parents (Gardner , 2002b).

Gardner (1998a) stresses the need to address the PAS through a variety of psychotherapeutic interventions and judicial , integrated and modulated according to the severity of the syndrome. His approach provides for specific sanctions against the rising level of the alienating parent, up to, in severe cases, the transfer of custody and residence of the child in the house the other parent. Where the courts refuse to adopt such measures, Gardner does not see the possibility to effectively treat the PAS.

E 'should be stressed, not only the clear mismatch, but also the danger of the judiciary in the context treat the family conflict. So much so that we could call the PAS disease iurigena (Salluzzo, 2004a). That said, you can not hide that it is difficult for anyone to remain neutral in the disputes on custody - even for psychotherapists - and fall in defense enactments.

It is greatest risk of psychotherapists to consolidate syndrome, rather than cure it, to be manipulated when the talks take place only with the alienating parent and child indoctrinated with, and when it takes account only of their statements (Lamontagne, 1998 ).

Just as, when information of the psychotherapist are from one party, it highlights the risk of reinforcing son in the belief in a good and a bad parent (Lund, 1995).

Therapeutic interventions on the border between psychology and justice
The success of an intervention on the PAS requires the joint collaboration of both psychological professionals and practitioners (Waldron and Joanis, 1996). The therapeutic model of Gardner (1999b) provides an integrated approach between the provisions of the court and psychotherapeutic interventions.

In PAS cases of mild type, usually do not need any psychological intervention, but just to reassure that the alienating parent will retain custody.

In PAS cases of moderate type, which are the most municipalities, the court must establish a system of effective sanctions should not hesitate to impose the alienating parent, when attempting to sabotage the treatment program agreed with the therapist. The penalties are capable of growing up to the prison.

psychotherapy with children adopt similar principles to those of deprogramming (deprogramming) undertaken with prisoners who have been indoctrinated by enemy propaganda, undergoing brainwashing, to the point of a public expressions of hatred towards their country ' origin. The psychotherapist must learn not to take too seriously the complaints of children, and understand that satisfy their desires too reject the alienated parent should not be in their interest. Of course, the best therapy is to give children the opportunity to experiment, in attendance without any interference and obstacles of the alienating parent, the alienated parent is not as despicable or dangerous , as they think.

The alienated parent, however, is often quite confused about what is happening, and unable to manage the relationship with their children. How much more will receive information and explanations on the mechanism of the syndrome, as well as be able to orient its reaction to the hostilities of children. First, there must be reassured over fear of not being loved by children. Paradoxically, it is their animosity that has reassure him and make him understand that as long as the hate, he is not completely indifferent . In addition, the alienated parent must be helped to "harden" to "hold out" and not to take seriously the devaluation of the children.

must be helped to understand that hostility is in favor of scripted programming parent, due to fear of inimicarselo , especially if you express affection for the alienated parent. This can be seen as a defense mechanism (Waldron and Joanis, 1996) which has the main function of protecting the self-esteem ally of the parent with the children, and serves to support him in dealing with the separation. The targeted parent needs to understand that, despite showing aversion, but the children still agree to meet him, and that it could be worse, if they did not. Finally, it must be helped to distract the children from the provocations, to avoid the long and exhausting controversy , returning, however, with the memories, the times when their relationship was peaceful and happy.

In cases of severe type PAS (Gardner, 1998a), representing a small minority (5 to 10% approximately), the conflict of loyalty baby is so acute as to render impossible the meetings. Children shown to have a relationship of folie à deux with the alienating parent, sharing their paranoid ideas. And 'necessary, then, for Gardner, implementing the strictest judicial process: to transfer the custody and residence of the child in the house the other parent. To this end, under the guidance of a psycho-professional, it is desirable to provide for interim accommodation of children in a place of transition (Transitional Site), rather than the direct transfer of the children in the house hated parent. The transitional site program does not preclude the possibility that the alienating parent to gain returns, finally, the status of primary carer. E 'planned expansion of opportunities access to children, in relation to what will reduce its rate of induction of PAS.

criticisms and insights
E 'should be subject to some criticisms of the Gardner model, but without going into
in the broader context of disputes that gave rise to the PAS in the scientific literature.
It 's true that the model of the PAS has its undoubted validity, but it is true that not always,
after separation, the preference of a child for a parent and aversion to the other depending on a campaign of denigration . Even in normal families together, and the absence of denigration, the children can team up with one parent and reject another. So, since the hot climate of persecution and separation often leads to players in the contest to give the cause of any discomfort to the action of hostile factions, a charge of programming the child may even be accompanied by a malevolent suspicion appearances .

Not to mention the concept of programming. And 'natural for a parent to educate his son, conveys its reality, and that this reality could have profoundly altered with regard to the former partners after separation. So becomes impossible to distinguish what in good faith, the parent sends the child for educational purposes, and what he does with malicious intent to remove the child from the other parent (Gulotta, 1998).

But it is true that Gardner does not give the programming the unambiguous intent of
conscious and unconscious determination alone - even in good faith - alienating parent is enough to trigger the PAS .

legal implications of the therapeutic approach of Gardner may appear too punitive and further traumatizing, but it has to recognize the author credit for having highlighted the strengthening of the judicial aspects / treatment of the syndrome. The law pervades all our behavior, and, where there is a gap in the law, may easily take root in any form of abuse or psychopathology.

So much so, that, according to parents' associations, and some promoters of legislative reforms (Eurispes, 2002; Salluzzo, 2004b), the PAS would be a strong factor in the development of legislation which provides for sole custody to one parent As a general rule.

The intervention, which is considered the method of choice to address the conflict over the management of children in cases of separation, is that of family mediation (Malagoli, 1998; Canevelli and Lucardi, 2000).

Some claim (Lund, 1995) that family mediation can be effective even in cases PAS. Some people, however, is convinced (Cartwright, 1993) that is not effective, and should be taken immediately by the court, in response to the alienating parent.

In fact, it seems difficult if not impossible, that the disgruntled parent, which causes the most serious types of PAS, and that takes advantage of the situation, voluntarily agree to participate - at least to join genuinely - a program of family mediation. In fact, some people (Vestal, 1997) considers that there are viable models of mediation, but only in combination with a clear and swift legal action aimed at discouraging any attempt to sabotage by the alienating parent.

An ideal situation, treatment should be oriented, rather than the forced containment of anger shakes, towards a process of mourning for the lost happiness. In fact, "... when the deaths are not processed, they may be attached (with a narrowing of consciousness and ego) or disavowed and rejected, ready and doing the expulsion ..." (Del Guerra et al, 1996, p. . 206).

The inability to overcome the trauma of separation can cause a regression, a restriction, or worse, a block of capacity for thinking (Bion, 1962), is the former partner, and in children, and her former husband - in particular the alienating parent - may be the victims of an implacable hatred for decades if not for life (Main, 1966).

Consider that this is not without implications for the development of future generations.

Several authors argue that the passing of several generations (Kaes et al, 1993) dynamics of individual and family psychological unresolved: "Mourning expelled ... may be transported from one person to another, from one generation to another, increasing the load and making it increasingly difficult for its metabolism. Who receives the process is denied - "the boot" (Racamier, 1992) - faces intractable work because they do not know its meaning "(Del Guerra et al, 1996, p. 206.).

By virtue of this, we should always support the parental role in the moment of crisis that leads to separation. A preventive measure, before the separation, we should develop the awareness and preparation courses for couples. However, only a program of action - if necessary, to send the court - combined with legislation providing for targeted sanctions, can prevent children with PAS will continue to be abused and suffer damage of varying severity of their psychological development. Psychological intervention, although initially penalized by the lack of motivation spontaneous, over time, can acquire a margin wider range of effectiveness.

Conclusions
We must not discouraged by the rejection of a child to a parent. Just as we do not lose - and will intervene with measures in its own interest - if a child refuses to go to school, or the vaccination, or care when he is ill, or perform any other self-injurious act. Watch to see whether under the guise of a desire to conceal the interest of the child of a parent who is abusing his trust.

Remove the hated ex-partner's son can certainly match the interests of the parent, but certainly not that of his son. The interest of the child is to have both parents, and, if possible, they are still able to collaborate and foster relations, and with the other parent with its parent branch, what can be defined as cogenitorialità (Mazzoni, 2002), or both parents (Eurispes, 2005, Nestola, 2005).

Regardless of different factors can come into play in every single case, and beyond the limitations and controversies surrounding the theory of PAS has caused, however, we must recognize that the phenomenon exists. Whatever the cause, is a problem with which we face more and more, in cases of disputed children after separation.

As we have seen, the courts are the place where family relations are reified, and the pain may remain without a convincing because the desperate sense of loss and history. The task of psychological professionals is to be able to fit within this painful journey, avoiding failure and disorientation they become agitated (acting out) and judicial conflict, further exacerbating an already compromised. The only way to avoid this additional damage (Salluzzo, 2004a) is that legal professionals and those in the psychological scope to learn to work side by side, both to protect the rights of everyone, is to try to restore meaning and a design to separate families.

long as they are not taken into account the reasons, mostly unconscious or not declared, the underlying family conflicts, difficult to Justice, alone, be able to effectively manage the separation.



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