yet it moves. Each day brings news of small achievements. A bit all over the world and also in Italy. I am very pleased to know that Aldo Forte its events have finally ended after 10 years of incredible tenacity and pre-existing.
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parental status, caused by gross negligence and lack of professionalism procedural / seriousness' of those who must give a public service. He outlined the history, you understand that even his mother, former wife of Aldo and 'anchessa victim of the system. As always happens in these cases. We understand that the mother first of all needed
help and support,
with his family, for the good of the child. Instead, this system "court" has shown the serious damage that result from a totally focused on law and bureaucracy. Evaluating a "system", whether an automated factory, a hospital or a modern and efficient "process of separation of parents with minor children" will have to assess the level of quality ' in terms of process time, waiting time, effectiveness (CBA) and especially quality 'of the final product. The process of judicial separation was leaving with scores from pre-industrial. If you compare him to a hospital, his doctors would all be investigated for negligence and patients with mortality 'in Africa. Benchmarking with a hospital and 'more' than correct, since both processes operating on "persons" whose "welfare" and the final 'a key parameter in the evaluation. is measured psychological well-being of mother, father and children after separation? NO! Nobody cares. There is not even the concept of quality system 'in the judicial system! With the task of a system of quality 'and' to define their own protocols and procedures to minimize the "system errors" and "stochastic errors, maximizing the quality 'of the final product: the welfare of the child and his parents, that are essential to it. When you fly, whenever that happens even a minor accident (occurrence of the problem) you trace the problem, do a survey to trace the cause, the procedures are updated immediately. Only for this reason we have relative safety of the flight. Because it 'in game
people's lives is essential to ensure reliability' and quality 'very high. In the history of Aldo, an error of assessment, due to an apparent injury to one person who had no sense of responsibility ', or simply apply a "standard rule" has resulted in ten years of incredible suffering to the children who any father would suffer as a consequence of the sense of absolute helplessness. How many fathers have in the situation of Aldo withdrew after a year or two? Statistics tell us 50%. It 's time that the closed world of the separations is compared with the real world. Get in a court by the same feeling of reliving the Orwellian atmosphere of Brazil, the legendary film Gillam. Attend and participate in a debate on the law if you do not 'lawyer, judge or psicogiurista, and' invasion of sacred territory "and the comment more 'benevolent that you can' feel and '" seems to be by Maurizio Costanzo. " This rejection of cross-professional 'benchmarking and' negation of the essence of quality 'of the process. Primary cause of all disorders that are identical throughout the world adopting the same procedures. About to say this? An engineer looks at the naked truth 'without pre-condition or emotional deviance. What holds together a parental couple? Laws? The stick? I do not think that when you put two in the pipeline will be a son to queue for stamped paper. The strength of familial aggregation are essentially the result of psychological transactions between the inside and outside of the family soo. Their dynamic and 'more' influenced by aspects of "psychological" and legal. Perhaps a factor of crisis or stability 'is the money and love. Changes are stressful job change, loss of a loved one, birth of a child, change of residence. When a couple breaks, communications between the parents are almost "automatic reflexes" transactions blocked up with almost Pavlovian reflex. If those conditions decide to "overcome the stressful time" separation add to a stressful situation to limit a further peak stress derived from the decision to separate. It 's almost normal in conditions of peace and relaxation, both parents are further destabilized on a psychic level. Not to mention what happens when there are initial conditions of personality 'or even slightly disturbed self-esteem problems / dependency. How does a personality 'in a paranoid phase separation? An employee and engulfing mother? A father? It 's not a gender issue. But the transactions that are established in conditions of high stress. Usually
Couple turns out. Close relatives. Friends. Confessor. Psychotherapist. Analyst. Lawyer. Calls car. Let's take a test. According to you, good sense, who should be the people outside the couple, that a good quality manual 'would require the first point of onset of crisis in the couple? "Between husband and wife do not put your finger" playing the popular wisdom that we lost the validity of scientific evidence '. Maybe in America, the analyst would have any preference. Here, for certain friends, relatives, lawyers are the sequences' common. Certainly not the people more 'competent and specially prepared to give valuable support to the parental couple. The couple locked the emotional communication. They can not feel in harmony. First, you must restore order in the communication. The handshake protocol between the two. Let them speak and listen in turn. Reprogram their language, to control the classic cognitive distortions such as the polarized thinking, all or nothing, generalizations and other distortions of logic. Bring everything to a rational level and then emotional sharing. There are numerous texts and reference schools.
This action of support, has a certain pragmatic surrender. What can 'drive then most psychotherapies' targeted also analytical. If it fails, however, its natural market and 'parental mediation, however, to maintain the essential communication concerning the children.
Too often, fear of the "brain doctor" and the myth of "easy divorce" of consumerism and "if they are small children also suffer from less", blast at the foot 'with great enthusiasm of any attempt to run a couple who Up to that moment of "peak stress" worked fine. A bit like you do with the mail today, and 'fashion to throw away a family and doing another. There are serial offenders who come to mess with three or four situations from hospital, all in court. Obviously you do not then that is a last resort. The final solution.
Typically, the jump at the foot 'of any psychological support, training or mediation, and go talk to a lawyer at the peak of maximum stress and consequent psychic disequilibrium, is triggering mechanisms "hysterical revenge" or "acting out" of psychological problems in legal action. Lawyer, do this, do that. The lawyer may, if experienced and authoritative 'in any way mitigate, but nothing prevents a customer uncompromising find bread for his teeth. And so 'explosive conflict. More than 'a person' insecure and more 'will be indecisive, not encouraged to challenge them, throw their heads down "against" the other parent. Tug of war on children. Haggling over money. Consensus that become court. Or do
forth a complaint for child abuse, violence, and more. PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) to dispose of their children. All problems
born from situations that have nothing to do with the law and the law.
There are three levels of reality '. The real one, that none of us knows only approximated to. That perception, which is' highly subjective, influenced by what we come to know and how this knowledge is modulated by our emotions. Then there is 'something that exists only in the courts, and that is the' reality 'of the case "that is the reality' verified by proof acceptable legally. And often 'is very different from' reality 'measured or scientific "or the identification of our best model of reality' cn the appropriate parameters. For example. If one who has declared that Mr. X and 'crazy, even if it has no objective measure and repeatable from which it takes the diagnosis, can 'be written to the file as truth' legal. That has social value. A rapist or a pedophile or a psychopath or psicoinstabile unlikely to have 'access to children.
short in court enters a reality 'particular, bureaucratic, which offers a guarantee on the legal and law only in formal terms.
these circumstances, it is obvious that the end result of the system depends very much on the conditions of entry of the parents and the boundary conditions of social workers, counselors hand, consultants and lawyers of the court. The magistrate will have 'very few opportunities to directly know the reality, based solely on the reality' of the acts and then the presentation of reality 'offered in the phase of "acting out" of all actors.
Why do so many pairs of parents separate peacefully achieving full and equal sharing in the lives of children? Why 'have matured and developed together with the disengagement plan, without haste, while maintaining respect, mutual trust and total responsibility' parenting, which is never delegated, if not on a purely formal. They may have the judge who writes what he wants on the approval, because 'will end' in a drawer, along with other certificates of family status. Continue to be parents. This and only this achieves the greatest good of the child, despite the separation of parents anyway sorry. Both the mother that the pope 'is crucial if they are fit and are committed to being parents, Decic time, learning and debating among themselves and with experts.
This must be the target of a law there really protect children and both parents'. A process that encourages the reduction of conflict Trai parents. The term most 'advanced is being proposed in the U.S., Tennessee and California. Talk of
"Time-Shift Shared Parenting."
This is identical to the equal custody bill Which Had Been previously filed and debated in Tennessee. It ceases Any power of children over Judges Who Have fit parents, parents by the time-dividing the primary decision-making (residential) status Between Them. Also it stops Almost all custody battles before They even begin, "Because there is no morecustody to fight over.
That is, ascertaining scientifically test more 'scientifically accurate that both parents are eligible, not pathologizing, the court should not decide anything because' is implemented by law a reliable alternative in time and then dividing the full responsibility 'parental well' as parents would not incur when they are separated at a distance for some reason, such as work. This immediately eliminates any reason to dispute concerning the children, or decisions, time, home and money.
This and only this, discourages the escalation of judicial recourse, instead encouraging the use of couples therapy or mediation parental actually can not 'be imposed by definition of the mediation process. You can 'mediate only if there is' a fair point of departure (parity 'between the parties) and a more' effective in terms of value for money together to find a communication and compromise themselves and not imposed by a third party, and then now in passive mode.
In Italy the laws that deal with family mediation are the law 285/97 and Law 154/01 "realazioni measures against violence in family" - all Italian paradox, considering that all the associations of brokers agree that in considering intervenirer impossible with the mediation on couples in which violence explode. The law provides for mandatory mediation in their cases of violence. 